my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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