apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We have started to decorate penises.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
