Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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