You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
