u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
