Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You can't just leave with hair like that
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
