You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
