Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
