Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
