Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize