I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
