In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
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Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
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Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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