Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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