I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize