A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
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