dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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