Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
