Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Randomize
