Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
