I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
