Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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