He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
