I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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