i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
