My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
