She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize