So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
