ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
