batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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