I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
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There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
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That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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