Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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