his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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