I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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