I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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