wakey wakey hands off snakey
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
