He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize