Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
