you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
