My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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