I'm really into asian looking animals
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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