New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
