Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
