So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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