just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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