His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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