I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
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I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
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It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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