i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
