Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
