They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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