She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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