Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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