She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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