Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
