You can't motorboat a personality
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
