Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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