Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
