Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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