I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
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sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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