butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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