he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
