he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
