Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
