Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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