I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
