Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
