I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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