just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize